I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
They took my balls.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Randomize
