dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
