Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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