The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
my sisters under your porch take her home
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He shit in the fireplace
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
