C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
