Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
