I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize