ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
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