Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
