dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
