i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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