you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
