The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
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