i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
