need another drink. this is the easiest way
he shaved USA in his pubs
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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