She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
