Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Randomize
