You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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