wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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