i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
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