my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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