He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
