Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
