I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize