Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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