awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
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