i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
