i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
