butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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