I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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