That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
we made out on top of his cat.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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