it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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