You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Do vagina's smell?
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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