so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
