so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
