Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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