Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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