Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
