Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
