Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
