our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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