This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
