i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
