Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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