so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize