please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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