Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Randomize
