so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
