My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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