I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
