Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
