I looked at my own cervix.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
