Please, let me fuck your mom
Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
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