I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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