It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
