You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
