Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
