direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
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