ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
