Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
