If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
