? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
