Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
