I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
