the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
PANTIES FOUND
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