I'm sorry my penis didn't work
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Randomize